"What Do I Do?" Ramble

Hello everybody. It's been a while since I've really written anything on my blog. Well, enough of that. But as for my absence, I've been on my grind. Lately, I've been balancing on the edge of excitement, nervousness and anxiousness within my very own realm of inspiration from numerous outlets in efforts to go hard on a daily basis in trying to set myself up to begin my journalism career come January.

The process has just began in many ways, but it has already made me irritable on some days. I've been putting in late nights just reading up on different magazines, trying to become an expert in the fashion game, entertainment, music, art and culture. It's so important to me I'm willing to do almost whatever. Saving money has become more important than ever, only I can never give up my addiction for clothing. But I've even stepped back from that, too.

With only a couple months left in my entire organized athletic career the urge to break in the journalism game has become heightened. Everything in my head is contradicting as the time to make key life decisions draw near. I worry about what's going to happen, but I'm very confident in my abilities. I, sometimes feel like taking a break and just chillin', but then I think I should stay on my grind and even go harder. One minute I wanna write fashion, the next, music. No, wait. Entertainment. should I write tonight? Nah. But wait, I should write daily. What do I read tonight? A book? A magazine? Which magazine? What haven't I read? What can I learn?

That's just a small sample of my daily thought processes. I'm a scatter-brain at times. But I'm driven. I'm not an academic, but I can work in the journalism field. Put me in a class room and I'll probably give you a C. Put me in a newsroom and I'll flourish. That's just me. I have a lot to learn and I have to keep improving, but I think a part of achieving greatness is believing that you either are great, or will be soon. I know I will be.

I know I rambling but this is how I think. My mind moves like James Brown's music. It's like abstract art, controlled chaos. It's nothing for me to wonder to myself, "What the hell am I supposed to do?" I'm just all over the place. One minute I'm a bad mother (you know what) and the next I'm worried about what might happen to me. It's just my life right now, and I'm still blessed.

I hope you follow me. Like I said, I ramble. But it's me. I'll talk more about this soon.